Part 1: Having to reinvent myself and clearly for the better

As we were getting the boat ready to leave – I committed myself to taking stock of a number of things about myself and concluded that some reinvention was necessary in order to make this chosen isolation tolerable. Making a 21 day journey, without any possibility of a stop (well, possibly Tristan da Cunha – if the ocean surge isn’t too ridiculous, and we’re all hoping it isn’t  – because how cool would that stamp be in the passport?) will require some re-calibration. I generally take stock of things (behaviors, attitudes, whether to spell the English or American way) on New Year’s Eve ahead of the coming year, something I’ve done for years now. Anyway, in anticipation of this ride over the ocean, I sat down yesterday afternoon for a good solid think and this morning I was resolved to make some serious changes. By sharing these with you, there is no going back, so here are the highlights.

Firstly, I am determined to drink fully caffeinated coffee instead of mambi pambi decaf.  Going forward, every morning of the voyage, either for breakfast or coming off watch, it’s caffeine for me. I started drinking caffeinated coffee a little at a time about a week or so back and now I’m ready for the big jump, fully committed, no half measures. I don’t know if this will be a permanent thing, we shall have to see.

Next, an equally significant adjustment, a move most necessary on a challenging journey like this one – I will be having long life milk on my oats and fruit each morning – and that started this morning too. I have always held that I would rather drink no milk at all, then go for the sorry apology for milk that 2% or fully skimmed or anything else that approximates for the real thing is. As they say in Texas, it’s like kissing your sister. Now, I know this change will not be a permanent one because once back on dry land I won’t be drinking milk at all, in fact, I haven’t for a number of years, but after great reflection, this one is a must if I am to retain my sanity while at sea and be able to enjoy breakfast (toast is off the menu and I don’t fancy cooking oatmeal every day). Please remember, these behavioral changes are coming hot on the heels of eating an egg and mayonnaise sandwich and having bread AND butter with a bowl of soup. I am shocked at how much change I am able to embrace.

The final change I will make is not quite on the scale of the others, but possibly one that may impact other people. I will no longer fret when people to whom I have sent an email – don’t bother to reply, or reply tardily. With a wave of the hand, that care and concern is no longer one for me. I recently sent a note to someone I care about and who I was a little concerned for – they were trying to achieve a major personal goal and in quite difficult circumstances. I sent them a note of support from my little satellite device and then followed through with a note after they had in theory done what they were going to do, to check that all went to plan and they were safe and sound. Sadly, after a week – there was no news. I spent a few days wondering whether they were OK, may be something unforeseen had happened? May be they thought there was some kind of personal agenda at play and I was trying to self profit (absolutely no idea how)? So, I sent a further note saying “you may not have received my previous notes – just checking in to make sure all went well.” Through the cunning of e mail “cc” ing, I copied a mutual friend on the last note and do you know what? That mutual friend replied congratulating our other mutual friend on their success and saying they’d seen something on social media with pictures. As of now – still no word back from the targeted friend. Is this just tardy, or is this, in fact, a breach of the fundamental rules of acceptability associated with social media – the protocol of mutual politeness and civility?

In any event, while drinking my fully caffeinated coffee (which I followed with a cup of green tea – just to be on the safe side) and eating my oats and fruit with long life milk (alright, long-life whole milk, but it’s not pasteurized) I contemplated the meaning of email silence and decided it was an indication of lack of care (or it could indicate that my emails are going directly to junk because the address is a little strange coming from Iridium).

Upon further flirting with this notion of civility and tardiness, I contemplated that I had not had access to my Yahoo email account now for nearly three weeks. As a consequence, there may be a number of people who have reached out to me without knowing that I do not have access to Yahoo and nor will I for the next 3 weeks plus. So, there may be a number of folks who think I am currently ignoring them or being tardy or uncaring by not responding in a timely way – something which I always do. Add to that, ignoring Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp – and I am potentially ignoring and isolating a ***t load of people, and consequently I too will be a accused, judged and found guilty by the many – of being the perpetrator of the crime that I found my other friend guilty of – tardiness or a lack of care. And so the only possible way to resolve this dilemma is to no longer give a ***t when people ignore my emails and concerning myself that others may think less of me because I haven’t replied to their messages. I thought about putting an “away message” on my Yahoo account, but didn’t remember to do it before I left Dallas and you can’t do it from an iPad or iPhone. So, if you hear any chat about me, concerning my tardiness or lack of care because I haven’t replied to someone’s message, or worse still, speculation that I may no longer be of this world, please let them know the reason for this “seelonce” – I just don’t care (until I arrive in South Africa when normal service and worrying will be resumed – no doubt)!

Pip pip