We docked up on a very tight inside Pontoon, which Barry our training skipper thought was a very amusing option. A narrow slip down a narrow alley with fishing boats double parked at the bottom, with the wind blowing us off the pontoon into other boats. We made it, but only after some major shouting for folks to get the dock lines on. Let me share some meaningful insight – when you have crew who don’t speak a lot of English – don’t assume that their language skills, or your own, will improve during their leap to the shore. Consequently, “secure the stern line” translated into “please stand there smiling, waiting for some appreciation for your daring leap to land and meantime watch the the boat nicely drift into the yacht parked next to us”. Well, we didn’t hit the boat and with sufficient shouting and gesticulating, the lines got secured and we were able to start to see a little bit of Stromness – well the shower block and a pub! Once again, just like in Stornaway, from nowhere, live music started shortly after we arrived in the pub (to eat dinner). This time 3 young fiddlers (and I mean just at legal drinking age, which seemed to be 12 around here) and an equally young pianist struck up playing truly appropriate Celtic music. I swear, we were on the set of Local Hero. A byproduct of last night was finding out that Simon (my co-skipper) equally loves Going Home from Local Hero and so we will play it very loudly from the newly acquired Bluetooth speaker as we head back into the Lock at Chatham in 10 days time. Stromness looked like pleasant enough place, just a little austere. It sits on the famous Scapa Flow where the German fleet was scuppered at the end of the First World War and now it has a lot of Oil related stuff going on (actually, not a lot of Oil Related stuff right now). We wanted to see Scapa Flow and so we did – nothing more to report there.

I do want to share another little incident (it may take some time and be of little interest to you – so feel free to skip this – but then you’ll never know will you). I can’t remember if I have already commented on a current member of the crew, let’s call him Barclay (to spare blushes, so I’ll use the name of another bank, because calling him by his real name might get a little dicey, especially so soon after that bank separated from TSB). As is said, this guy is evenly balanced – a chip on both shoulders. He works in Business Development for – wait for it – a bank and he is currently working in Jersey. He told us he was an expert in CRM (Customer Relationship Management). Now I’ve done a bit of this myself over the years – and know enough to be dangerous, not unlike sailing I guess). So I commented on how good databases were for really getting to understand guest behavior. He says “well we don’t use databases – that doesn’t work”. Really – surely? Anyway – he went on to describe what he was working on and to the rest of the world (aka Simon) would be thought to be – a database. None of this has anything directly to do with the incident I wanted to share – just call it background. However, this guy (who is 6’6″ tall and has a large presence) is about as arrogant in demeanor as anyone could be. Shortly after arriving on board last Saturday he made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to listen to Simon and I if we were the skippers and because he was very experienced and probably knew better – which might have been true, but we didn’t know and his stated credentials would suggest not. However, he did have all of the gear and some of it still had the price tags on! Well we found out the very first day about his knowledge (and no, this still isn’t the incident I want to share). I asked him to take the helm from me while I checked the chart plotter down in the cabin so I could make some course corrections. I left him at the helm while we raised the sails and turned us into the sailing boat we are. I then asked him to steer a course “best to wind” (no heading – just keep the boat close up to the wind). So off the boat went and off and off – “Barclay – please steer best to wind” – “I am” – “Well can you find the wind we started with and not some other”. Now I know that perhaps that wasn’t the kindest thing to say – because he was clearly having an issue with the instruction – which is s very simple one to understand for anyone who has sailed a bit. He had loudly stated on his first night that he was really a Yacht Master already, but couldn’t find the time to take the exam (and for clarity, his certification with the RYA says Day Skipper, which is fine, but nowhere near what he was saying he was – like I’m really a professional singer, but I only have time to sing in the bath). Over the next several I days, he continued to be quite belligerent, but only at times and only when politely asked to carry out a task, which he would then do, but rarely with good grace. I like it when people say please and thank you. He didn’t!

So back to the proper incident I want to talk about. He pleaded wth Barry (Training Skipper) to be able to do a passage plan. Of course, Barry agreed – nothing lost there. So Barclay hogged the chart table for a couple of hours while off watch on the passage across to Stromness which I was skippering (not something you do while sailing and you’re not the skipper or navigator). Now he produced a pretty good plan – just got the timings wrong – not a good thing where you have a tidal race and gate running at 9 knots – called The Pentland Firth! Well things develop and he announces to the crew later that night that he is skippering the next day – he’d agreed it with Barry. News to all and especially Simon, who was due to be skipper. Anyway – I thought this to be a crazy decision, to let someone we knew had much less sailing ability than his mouth could speak, skipper a boat with 9 people through a very dangerous piece of water. I drank some whisky and went to bed – thinking this was crazy. When 4.30am came about the next morning – I stayed in bed. Having been duty skipper the day before – and having started even earlier I wasn’t due to be up, but normally Simon and I get up and support each other to get the boat ready and off – but not for a banker! I emerged shortly after 6.00, made drinks for the early watch and started to check though progress and get ready for my watch who would be joining me shortly and readying themselves for the 8.00am watch change – which would be just as we pushed out from Scapa Flow into The Pentland Firth. Barry started asking Simon a bunch of questions as if he was the skipper and yet I could see and hear the banker up on deck acting like he was. SImon just looked at me and said, quietly, welcome the the Accidental Skipper. Barry asked me what that meant – and I just said there is complete confusion as to who is running this boat. “Simon is” – says he. “Not according to Barclay” says I.

“Well he bloody isn’t – Simon – you’re skipper”. Well I grinned from ear to ear and Barry goes up to the Cockpit and says something to the Banker”. Not sure what he said but shortly after I took my watch on deck to relieve the early guys and Barclay humbly says “Nick I’ve been appointed to blow the main if things get over-powered, can you appoint someone from your watch to take over”? Well he was on my watch and should have been staying up. So I asked him with watch he was on. I sent him downstairs and told him to stay on the other watch with the skipper! I think he left the cockpit more humble than he had arrived and since then – he seems to be a more graceful member of the team. Sanity has returned toTonic, or atleast Tonic Sanity has been restored. (PS – about 5 hours on and he is already reverting to type. Ah well!).

So now we’re in Wick, the most Northerly port on the UK mainland. We sailed over the Pentland Firth and past Duncansby Head. The sun shone and the wind had a bight for JULY – really – what is it with this weathers! We were very early and so we stayed out at sea and waited until we could get both sails filled and then we had a marvelous sail down here to Wick . Unfortunately I have to go up with one helper to the front of the head sail each time we want to put it away and furl it back in by hand, something which won’t work in rough weather – more to follow on this one.

Pip pip

N

This is Barclay – subtle or what!